Safe SCP Entities: An Unexpectedly Safe Guide to the Extraordinary

Arkane Curiosities

Step into the realm of the SCP Foundation, where the boundaries of reality quiver, and ordinary objects embrace the sublime. SCP stands for Secure, Contain, and Protect. This fictional organization tracks down and catalogs the strangest entities the universe has to offer — a vast collection of objects, creatures, and phenomena that defy the laws of nature as we know them. But not every entity is a danger. A peculiar subset of SCP entities known as “Safe” are just as they sound: less a threat than their more boisterous counterparts. Safe SCP entities are the equivalent of a tea cozy on a thermonuclear bomb or a bowtie on an unruly tornado – utterly peculiar, but remarkably benign.

More Object and Monster

Within this realm of Safe SCPs, the ordinary becomes extraordinary, and the mundane harbors secrets waiting to be discovered. Safe-class SCPs are easy to contain and are little threat to people, as a whole. Typically posing as inanimate objects, they are far from totally harmless. Listed below are some of the more notable Safe Entities. 

SCP-085: “Hand-drawn Cassy”, “Cassandra” or “Cassy”

This two-dimensional entity takes the form of a young girl, estimated to be around ten years old. She is a drawing, discovered in an abandoned house along with various other anomalous objects. Cassy’s abilities are confined to the surface of the paper she inhabits, but she can jump from paper to paper, provided they are touching. 

Interactions with Cassy are facilitated through written or spoken communication. She can read and respond to written messages and can also communicate verbally through a voice synthesizer. Due to her two-dimensional nature, Cassy is vulnerable to damage and destruction. Any harm inflicted on her drawing affects her directly, causing pain or even potential death. 

SCP-426: “I Am A Toaster”

This looks like a typical two-slice toaster, except it only refers to itself in the first person “I am a toaster”. It has the ability to alter the thoughts and self-perception of those who acknowledge its existence. Anyone who stays in its presence for two months will believe that they have become the toaster. Affected individuals genuinely perceive themselves as a toaster, complete with thoughts and emotions befitting an inanimate kitchen appliance.

Those affected will often produce toaster sounds resembling and express concerns related to their “toaster” condition. This includes anxieties about being used improperly, fear of being neglected or discarded, and a longing for toast-based sustenance. They may even attempt to engage in activities typical of a toaster, such as browning slices of bread or begging for crumbs.

SCP-294: “Coffee Machine”

This entity takes the form of an ordinary coffee vending machine, but its capabilities extend far beyond the realm of caffeinated beverages. Equipped with a QWERTY keypad, the machine can dispense and liquid typed in. While its main purpose is to offer beverages, it can also provide non-consumable liquids, such as acids or even more unusual substances like lava or venom.

One remarkable aspect of SCP-294 is its ability to fulfill requests for liquids that should not exist or are unobtainable through conventional means, such as antimatter or tachyons. However, there are limitations to its capabilities. SCP-294 cannot produce living organisms or substances that exceed its internal volume capacity. 

SCP-458: “The Never-Ending Pizza Box”

This entity looks exactly like a pizza box from Little Caesar’s (Hot-n-Ready). The instant human hands touch the box, it reads the holders mind, creating the perfect pizza down to the toppings, styles and even dietary restrictions.

The box’s capacity to provide pizza seems limitless, defying the bounds of conventional physics and culinary expectations. No matter how many slices are removed, SCP-458 magically replenishes itself, ensuring that those partaking in its offerings will never go hungry.

SCP-458 can only make pizza and its box is indestructible.

SCP-131: “Eye Pods”

These are a pair of adorable creatures resembling miniature eye-like entities. Each Eye Pod measures approximately 3 inches across with a rubbery outer layer that resembles an eye. They are mobile, possessing a wheel-like protrusion which allows them to move about.

The eye pods communicate with each other with an untranslatable high-pitched babbling. No one has ever observed these eyes blinking, even in laboratories while being videotaped for over 18 consecutive hours.

These entities require no care or feeding from the staff. They don’t even sleep. The only sustenance for these little fellows is visual stimulation. 

Safe Entities

The enigmatic nature of these “safe” entities continues to intrigue researchers within the Foundation. They strive to unravel the mysteries surrounding these extraordinary beings.

Tim Kane

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The Backrooms — A Surreal Alternate Reality

Arkane Curiosities

The Backrooms are not for the faint of heart. This is a place both alluring and dangerous, a surreal alternate reality that exists just beyond the walls of our everyday world. No one should ever seek out the backrooms. The risk is too great. Both to your life and also your sanity.

No Ordinary Place

Identical yellow-tinted walls. Flickering fluorescent lighting. At first glance, the Backrooms seem utterly mundane. Yet the more you explore, you realize the truly bizarre place you’ve stumbled into. 

There are no windows, no doors, and no clear sense of direction or purpose. The rooms seem to stretch on forever, each one identical to the last. You may feel disoriented or confused — overwhelmed by the relentless hum that permeates the air. Strange entities inhabit these rooms, creatures that exist outside of our normal understanding of reality.

Gaining Entry

But for those who are brave enough to seek out the Backrooms, there are a few things you should know. Firstl, the Backrooms occupy a kind of liminal space between the digital and the physical. Some have reported finding portals to the Backrooms in video games, while others claim to have stumbled upon them in abandoned buildings or other forgotten places.

These entrances, or glitches in reality, have subtle signs. 

  • Doors that appear suddenly
  • Walls a shade darker than those around it
  • Locations with a sense of unease

When you are ready, simply step through to enter the backrooms.

A Different Kind of Time

Time behaves differently within the walls of the Backrooms. Some have reported losing hours or even days while exploring the endless rooms. Others reported feeling as though they have been trapped in the Backrooms for weeks or months, only to emerge and find that only hours have passed.

This temporal strangeness is often compounded by the endless sameness of the rooms themselves. With no discernible landmarks or signs of change, it can be difficult to gauge how much time has passed or how far you have traveled.

Backrooms Origin

It all started with a picture titled “unsettling room” on a 4chan forum about cursed images. A year later, on May 12th, a user replied to the odd yellow room by saying: 

If you’re not careful and you noclip out of reality in the wrong areas, you’ll end up in the Backrooms, where it’s nothing but the stink of old moist carpet, the madness of mono-yellow, the endless background noise of fluorescent lights at maximum hum-buzz, and approximately six hundred million square miles of randomly segmented empty rooms to be trapped in
God save you if you hear something wandering around nearby, because it sure as hell has heard you

This snowballed into more comments and posts. Eventually “found footage” made its way onto social media — people exploring the Backrooms. 

A Final Warning

In the end, entering the Backrooms is not something to be taken lightly. It is a place of great danger and mystery, and those who enter may never return to the world they once knew. Yet… for those who are willing to take the risk… the Backrooms offer a glimpse into a world of endless possibility and unbridled imagination.

Tim Kane

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Teeny Haunts: The Urban Legend of Siren Head

The urban legend of Siren Head dates back to 2018 and is the brainchild of Trevor Henderson. The Canadian artist is the creator of many internet memes (such as Cartoon Cat and The Man in the Red Room). The first ever post came on August 19, 2018 depicting the strange creature towering over a hill. Since then, it has exploded across the net and even spawned several video games.

The myth that has sprung up is as mysterious as the cryptid itself. Siren Head has no eyes or ears. Only mouths that mimic the sounds of loved ones. It’s these sounds that lure the unwary deeper into the woods. Some speculate that it’s body is composed of cassette and reel to reel tapes.

Siren Head targets children and those lost in the woods. Its immense height allows it to hide in the trees. You notice it only too late.

Tim Kane

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Teeny Haunts: Mad Mary

When I was 12 or 13, my parents shipped me off to summer camp up in the San Diego mountains. I think they just wanted to get me out of their hair for a little while.

The whole experience. Dusty cabins with a trek through the dark just to go to the bathroom. Me not knowing a single person. Me, the quiet artistic type trapped in a situation designed to bring out the social.

I hated it.

Well, not all of it. You see the counselors (I assume it was them) had nailed up a pair of rusty manacles to a tree by the lake. And they told me the tale of how Mad Mary used to be chained up. Her hair and fingernails grew long. She munched on squirrels or birds. Anything that came too close. Until one day she got free.

I’ve been to this camp again. It’s run by the YMCA and is right outside of Julian. You see, as a sixth grade teacher, I busses whole groups of impressionable kids up into the mountains.

Yet the tree with manacles is gone. And not a single person up there recalled the tales of Mad Mary. Had I dreamt it all up. Not likely. The stories provided fertile soil for my budding imagination.

This is how the tale start. Next Teeny Haunts will continue the tale.

Stay Haunted…