Category Archives: Worldview

As eBooks Grow, Will the Printed Book Become Art?

Book art by Lisa Occhipinti

Think back, if you can, to a time when you might have learned calligraphy. You know, that fancy formal type writing that went out with the advent of the typewriter. I know I loved writing that way, but only for special notes or letters. It took too much work. Printing or cursive was faster. Plus, calligraphy had taken on airs. It felt it was better than everyone else. It was art.

Will the printed book slide into this pretentious slot? I think it very well might.

Think about it. Printed books won’t vanish. In the near future, at least, they’ll be plentiful. A fellow writer of mine just had his backlist bought up by Amazon. I asked if they would create ebooks, and he said no. The backlist is all Westerns, and these are older readers who still prefer print.

Yet as the generations march on, much of the printed books may vanish. Leaving splendid coffee table tomes and specialty volumes to remain. These will become aesthetic icons.

Even flimsy paperbacks will be enthroned in museums. We love nothing better than the deification of pop culture. Think I’m spinning a yarn? It’s already happening.

Look at this art installation for the 2012 Olympics in London by Brazilian artists Marcos Saboya and Gualter Pupo. New and used books were stacked up in this shape of a fingerprint (the late Argentinian writer Jorge Luis Borges, to be precise.)

Jan Reymond is another artist, who lives in the small Swiss village of Romainmôtier. He’s created multiple installation pieces where he suspends used books to create sculptures. Here he created a tree called, Le Thésarbre, in the courtyard of an abbey.

Finally Lisa Occhipinti is a mixed media artist who creates art projects out of books. Below is “Circulation” which binds together some rather beaten volumes.

You need look no further than your local Anthropologie store. Their window displays make copious used of old dusty books.

These may be the future of books. I certainly can’t see anyone preserving ebooks in the same way. Someday there might be artists who create art from the copious ereaders we use. But there’s something so tactile about a physical book. I’m fascinated by it and would gladly peruse art installations that showcase the tome.

Tim Kane

How to Burn Books in the Digital Age

I have to be honest with you. I have burned a book. It’s something I can never live down and it haunts me.

I was somewhere in my early teens. Either middle school or high school. I was a big D&D nut and loved watching The Evil Dead series. I purchased a copy of the Necronomicon. Now I realize how harmless this book is, but at the time, it seemed stunning and real to me. As well as to my dad.

He freaked. He’d had a bad experience with a Tarot deck years ago. For him, it was round two. He couldn’t take the book being in my house. He convinced me to dispose of it. I wish I had said no. I should have. No book deserves this. It’s what people with small minds do to ideas.

I was young. I capitulated.

The barbecue fired up. The book thrown on. I couldn’t watch the whole process. I left.

It seems like people will be burning books forever. Or will they? Recently, there have been a rash of book burnings for Fifty Shades of Grey. Do I think this book is worthy of great literary merit? Hardly. Yet it certainly doesn’t deserve burning. These people bought the book. Thus more money flows to EL James.

It got me thinking. Would we still have these burnings in a decade or so? With the advent of ebooks, we might face a time when there are no print versions of a book to burn. What then? Will people burn their Kindles and Nooks? How silly would that be?

Perhaps they would all press the delete button at the same time. Yeah, cause that would send a message. How anti-climactic.

Maybe future book Nazis will create viruses to attack and delete books. A clever concept, though it might be beyond the scope of their intelligence. Also, deleting other people’s books is tantamount to setting arson to a bookstore.

We all know that there will still be print books in some form in the future. After all, people still print out photos despite the plethora of ways to use the digital pictures. It brings up the idea that a clever author might be able to circumvent the mad book burners if he or she knows the book will be controversial. Future authors could simply print their book only as an ebook.

Although a truly brilliant author would want the book to be burned. There’s no better publicity than setting a book aflame. If it weren’t for the repulsiveness of the act, it’s be a great publicity stunt.

This writer is curious as to how people will take out their wrath on future books. I’m certain they will find a way. Hate always does.

Tim Kane

There is No Peace Treaty with the Ant Kingdom

The ants go marching, not two by two, but hundreds by hundreds.

My house has been ant free for years. Yet this summer’s heatwave has sent them in droves. And they’re crazy. They start by running up drains and cracks. Scrambling around the bathroom sink where they’re no food. I’ve set traps, but the insects ignore them. They somehow know the difference between real peanut butter and the laced with poison type. I’m limited with the types of sprays I use. I have a young daughter and a dog.

The warriors loyal to Achilles were called Myrmidons or ants. They swarmed the beaches of Troy for ten years. Is that how long I must battle?

Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy with his loyal ant warriors, the Myrmidons

A friend recommended I sign a peace treaty with them. Fat chance. There are only three species on the planet that practice the art of war. That is, violence not for the sake of territory, but simply to show dominance over a foe. These species are humans (obviously), chimpanzees, and ants. Ants will tear the legs off their opponents. They are beyond viscous. As Edward O. Wilson, the most famous myrmecologist in the world, said “If ants were given nuclear weapons, the world would be destroyed within a week”.

Then there’s the strange situation we have in California. I’ve heard people say that San Diego is build on one giant anthill. I thought they were exaggerating. Then I did the research. Argentine ants (Linepithema humile) have taken over California, forming a gigantic super colony. It’s known as the “California Large.” Normally ants would attack each other, but those who live in a super colony tolerate each other (much like humans living in cities). They have millions of queens, but all work together. What’s freaky is the same colony exists in California and Japan. That means if you took ants from San Diego and brought them to Japan, the two groups wouldn’t fight.

When I see ants in my kitchen or house I kill them. Not only for the sake of my sanity. I mean I’ve had to turn to preparing food on the dining room table. The ants swarm that quickly. But also, killing individual ants is tantamount to giving a dog a haircut. It does nothing to the colony as a whole. Even killing the queen won’t stop a super colony. A new queen and colony will come to take it’s place.

So it’s all out war, with no end in sight. Sometimes I feel like Kilgore in Apocalypse Now: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

The horror. The horror.

Tim Kane

Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Charisma’s Cordelia Chase in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer never had much tact.

Some folks are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Me, I had a foot stuck up in there. It seems I have no inner filter. If something pops into my brain, it shoots out my mouth. If I were enlisted, my lips would sink a whole lotta ships.

My most infamous slip involved meeting a friend. Before I was introduced, this friend was described as “big” and “large”. She was my senior, agewise on par with my parents. So when I met her, yes she was a tall woman. But of course, that’s not what popped through my brain. Instead I thought, and said, “I’ve seen bigger woman.”

Let me give you all a secret: women don’t like to hear such things. Even if is truthful.

Somehow, despite my lack for tact, I have developed a sort of filter when I teach sixth grade. Before becoming a teacher I cussed up a storm. Yet, beyond all expectations, I don’t let loose a stream of profanities in class. Even when certain students deserve it (yes, I’m looking at you).

Often these days, I spout out strange nuggets of geeky knowledge, like you can’t send bones through the US mail. Most of my coworkers are used to such strange outbursts. They even have an expression for me. It’s the line. I need to know where it is and not cross it.

Maybe someday there’s be an outbreak of foot in mouth and then we can all be brutally honest. Until then, tact lives on.
Tim Kane

10 of the Worst Reality TV Concepts and Catchphrases

I watch a lot of reality TV. Not because I adore it. Mostly because I hardly watch TV at all these days and there’s little commitment with these shows. You can watch one or two episodes and see all you need. I was recently watching Craft Wars (with Tori Spelling) and caught the most ridiculous elimination catchphrase: “Pack up your glue gun. You’re done in this craft war.”

This got me thinking. There have been as many lousy reality TV concepts as there are bad elimination catch phrases. Here are few that, thankfully, no one has tried yet.

10 American’s Top Politician
Honestly, this is how we should do elections. More people would watch and probably vote. However, it would truly underscore the shallowness of our political system.

Elimination Catchphrase: The votes are in… Your campaign is over.

Will Ferrel and Zach Galifianaki compete for congress.

9 Barista Wars
I’m guessing baristas would battle over who could whip the best foam on a cappuccino or churn out the frostiest frappe.

Elimination Catchphrase: You’re frappe was forgettable.

8 Top Neighborhood Watch
Inspired by the movie, The Watch, perhaps warring neighborhood watches could compete over the best way to foil car thieves and burglars.

Elimination Catchphrase: Pack your flashlight and leave the neighborhood.

The Watch movie starring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, and Richard Ayoade.

7 Top Skating Pro
Yes, we have the X Games, but what about the drama behind the half-pipe? Here skaters would compete for the best moves and the most stellar personality.

Elimination Catchphrase: You’re ollie ollie outta here. (Ollie is the name of a basic movie in skateboarding.)

6 Project Gossip
Rumors always plague us wherever we go. Yet who can dish it out the best? Finally a Reality TV that has snarky back-biting during AND after each competition.

Elimination Catchphrase: The dirt you dished didn’t stick. Time to clean up you game.

5 Hacked
Gardeners compete each show to create the best landscape. There’s a special segment with a mystery shrub. Ooo, so exciting.

Elimination Catchphrase: Pack your shears and mow. (Can you hear the rim shot? I can.)

4 Garbage Wars
Dueling sanitation workers compete to collect unusual trash items in the shortest time. Imagine Fear Factor but as a job.

Elimination Catchphrase: You’ve been kicked to the curb.

3 America’s Next Top Teacher
As a teacher myself, it sometimes feels like this. Here we give a set of teachers the worst students, no supplies, and a cramped room to teach in. (Hey, it’s called reality, people.)

Elimination Catchphrase: You have a failing grade. You’ve flunked out of school.

2 Project Spreadsheet
Finally, a show that explores the devil may care life of accountants. Each episode sees which accountants can make it through various financial challenges and… (wait for it) come back in black.

Elimination Catchphrase: You’re bottom line didn’t hold up. You’re downsized.

Although Dwight Schrute isn’t an accountant, he certainly could do the job.

1 Top Surgeon
Life or death. Who wouldn’t watch? One slip of the scalpel and we lose the patient. At least they pay the patient volunteers well. Plus you get to be on TV.

Elimination Catchphrase: You didn’t make the cut. Pack your scalpel and exit the hospital.

Forever watching…

Tim Kane