New Stories Published (or soon to be)

I’m very excited to announce that three new stories will see publication. The first, “Pardon Me, but I Believe the World is About to End” is already live over at Drunk Gekko. This was inspired by reading Terry Pratchett and the recent Catherynne M. Valente novel, Space Opera. Its a bit absurd and not my typical style. It involves the end of the world and fig newtons. In that order. Click over to read it now.

I have a Xmas story coming out with Deathlehem around, well, Christmas. “Away in a Manger” deals with a house filled with nativity scenes that come to life to attack their inhabitants. (See, this is more my style). I wrote this story about eight years ago, on Xmas Eve. So glad it will finally see publication (there are not a lot of horror related Xmas markets out there, but there should be).

Finally I am proud to publish “Maggots from Heaven”, a steampunk short horror in the vein of Hammer films and Victorian gothic. This story has seen so many revisions over the years and only the core science concepts remain intact. The question: what if you could capture a bit of the human soul. But instead of it being all glorious and majestic, your soul is simply little bits of ethereal maggots. Or to be more precise, the maggots come to nibble on your soul (the same way the real life fly larva feast on dead flesh). This will be printed in the anthology Fearrington Road (short stories in a Lovecraftian / Steam Punk / Diesel Punk vein).

Looking forward to posting more upcoming publications.

Tim Kane

 

Pammy Pestilence: Episode 1

 

I had the idea for a teen version of one of the Horseman of the Apocalypse a few years back, but no specific story ideas. I thought it might develop into a novel, but all I had was the notion of an Emotional girl who’s constantly alone because everything, and everybody, rots around her. Then, when I experimented with making a web comic, I thought she might fit here. I have a few more episodes in mind. She won’t be totally alone for long. She has her other Horseman and visits at least one of the local Deaths on a regular basis.

There is No Peace Treaty with the Ant Kingdom

The ants go marching, not two by two, but hundreds by hundreds.

My house has been ant free for years. Yet this summer’s heatwave has sent them in droves. And they’re crazy. They start by running up drains and cracks. Scrambling around the bathroom sink where they’re no food. I’ve set traps, but the insects ignore them. They somehow know the difference between real peanut butter and the laced with poison type. I’m limited with the types of sprays I use. I have a young daughter and a dog.

The warriors loyal to Achilles were called Myrmidons or ants. They swarmed the beaches of Troy for ten years. Is that how long I must battle?

Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy with his loyal ant warriors, the Myrmidons

A friend recommended I sign a peace treaty with them. Fat chance. There are only three species on the planet that practice the art of war. That is, violence not for the sake of territory, but simply to show dominance over a foe. These species are humans (obviously), chimpanzees, and ants. Ants will tear the legs off their opponents. They are beyond viscous. As Edward O. Wilson, the most famous myrmecologist in the world, said “If ants were given nuclear weapons, the world would be destroyed within a week”.

Then there’s the strange situation we have in California. I’ve heard people say that San Diego is build on one giant anthill. I thought they were exaggerating. Then I did the research. Argentine ants (Linepithema humile) have taken over California, forming a gigantic super colony. It’s known as the “California Large.” Normally ants would attack each other, but those who live in a super colony tolerate each other (much like humans living in cities). They have millions of queens, but all work together. What’s freaky is the same colony exists in California and Japan. That means if you took ants from San Diego and brought them to Japan, the two groups wouldn’t fight.

When I see ants in my kitchen or house I kill them. Not only for the sake of my sanity. I mean I’ve had to turn to preparing food on the dining room table. The ants swarm that quickly. But also, killing individual ants is tantamount to giving a dog a haircut. It does nothing to the colony as a whole. Even killing the queen won’t stop a super colony. A new queen and colony will come to take it’s place.

So it’s all out war, with no end in sight. Sometimes I feel like Kilgore in Apocalypse Now: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

The horror. The horror.

Tim Kane