This holiday season, Santa Clause has upgraded to OS Kringle 5, which supports cloud services. How will this affect you this season?
For starters, Santa won’t have to make that personal appearance to every household, so hold on the milk and cookies. Kringle 5 now delivers Christmas gifts as digital downloads. When the big morning arrives, instead of rushing to the tree, fire up the computer and check your email. You’ll find codes for downloading your gifts. (Or eCoal.)
Some of you might miss that personal visit from the jolly old fella, but for those of us without chimneys, we won’t have to leave the doors unlocked. Plus, think of the money you’ll save in roofing (no reindeer hoof prints on the shingles).
Santa is beta testing a gift subscription service. Just sign up to be a Kringle Prime customer and you can download one gift (toy, action figure, doll, etc) per month for free. That’s a gift that you can appreciate all year long.
Additionally, Santa is skipping the mall visits and letters this year. Check his website for available facetime slots. Remember, sign up early or Santa will have to guess about your gifts!
You can still give Santa cookies and milk. Only now, be sure to purchase eCookies and eMilk on Facebook. Also, click over and like Santa’s page. He’s looking to reach a million by the 25th.
Cleaver in a sad sort of way.
I want my old fashioned Kriss Kringle. Tell this new guy to piss off.