Tag Archives: vampire

Vampire Apotropaics Part 1: How to Pacify Your Vampire

Learn how knots, dead dogs, and excrement can deter a vampire.

As a lover of all things vampire, my wife purchased me The Element Encyclopedia of Vampires. As I strolled through the expansive volume, I noticed that despite it’s generous supply of information, some details were scattered. I was immediately drawn to Aprotropaics. This is a term coming from the Greek word apotropai, which is something that averts evil.

This is four part series summarizing the four ways to combat evil (specifically vampires): Pacificaiton, Countering, Restraint, and Lethal Aprotropaics.

The goal with pacification was to remove the vampire’s urge to kill or drink blood. Generally this meant feeding the vampire something else to quell his thirst. This is old school vampire lore (non of that Twilight stuff). The kind of stuff Romanians still believe in.

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I discovered this with an article about vampires on the loose in Serbia. The date was December 1, 2012. Drinks are left on the grave of a deceased man, in the village of Zarozje, near the Serbian town of Bajina Basta

People thought the world of the dead was similar to that of the living. That means eating. All sorts of food were left in the grave to prevent that person from rising as a vampire. Seeds were common. In Germany alone, folk used to bury or scatter poppy seeds, mustard seeds, oats, linen seeds or carrot seeds. Some of this is related to eating, but it also went back to the believe that vampires were seriously OCD.

Many beliefs in vampirism (Eastern European and Chinese) felt that the undead were compelled to count. Therefore if there were seeds in the grave or sprinkled outside, the creature would have to count them all before rising. Now you might think this a task that could be accomplished in a day or so. Oh no. The Kashubs (in Poland) surmised that a vampire could only count a seed a year, thus keeping him busy for centuries.

Miniature Vile of mothers of millions seeds, dirt and moss. I found this on Etsy by chillerwhale

Miniature Vile of mothers of millions seeds, dirt and moss. I found this on Etsy by chillerwhale

Although not strictly food, knots were also used as a delaying tactic. The obsessive vampire would stop to count all the knots (or possibly untie the knots). Nets were often buried with corpses to provide them with years of entrainment.

The Macedonian Folklore by G.F. Abbot (1903) a story tells of how a hunter lured a vampire with a pile of millet grains. The vampire was so obsessed with counting that it didn’t resist when the hunter nailed him to the wall.

The OCD aspect of vampires is highly underused. This reminds me of an excellent episode (Bad Blood) on the X-Files where the FBI agent Mulder pacifies a vampire by strewing sunflower seeds. The vampire, aware of his own compulsion, states, “Ooo, I’m going to get you when I’m done.” This gives time for the agent to escape.

A pizza boy attacks agent Mulder. His shoes are also untied (a sign that he's a vampire).

A pizza boy attacks agent Mulder. His shoes are also untied (a sign that he’s a vampire).

A similar practice to pacify vampires was to lay a dead dog or cat on your doorstep. Yeah, I know. A bit macabre. The idea was that the undead must count all the hairs on the animal. I’m not sure how long you could pull off this particular protection. Seems a last minute thing to me.

My favorite pacification technique came with the belief in holes. In Eastern Europe, people thought vampires exited the grave via holes in the ground. In Bulgaria villagers would place bowls of excrement near grave holes (and you thought the dead dog was bad). The vampire would eat the excrement. I’m guessing this has to do with the undead being a foul and smelly creature. In any event, the vampire was sated and no longer longed for blood.

Finally, a pacification technique that works well with humans was wine. To keep a corpse happy, Romanians bury it with a bottle of wine. After six weeks, the bottle was dug up and drunk with relatives as a form of protection. Sort of the hair of the dog that bit you. One step further was to bury the dead with whiskey, believing that the vampire would become too drunk to find its way home and drink the blood of its relatives.

This is a detail of a work of art called 126 Whiskey Bottles by Tara Cooper

This is a detail of a work of art called “126 Whiskey Bottles” by Tara Cooper

On the next post, we’ll tackle countering apotropaics like garlic, lemons, and tar.

Tim Kane

The Modern Madame Bathory

Ah Madame Bathory, the Countess who took the term “blood bath” to a whole new level. If you’re unfamiliar with the lady, she was a sixteenth century royal in Hungary who decided create her own fountain of youth from young woman’s blood. Specifically, she drained them and bathed in the blood.

She might have been on to something. Now it seems that researchers have found evidence to support that young blood can restore metal health (to mice at least). They swapped blood between an older mouse and a younger mouse. The younger one’s brain began to age more rapidly and the older one (with the newer blood) showed more elasticity in thinking. It was able to solve water mazes quicker with fewer mistakes.

This is a frightening prospect, not for the scientific advancement (which is terrific) but the implications for us. We already have fang bangers who dress and act like vampires. Some even delude themselves into believing they are the living dead. Now, bolstered by scientific evidence, will they round up the youngsters, Bathory style, and drain them to renew their flagging vigor? Don’t laugh, it’s a real possibility.

Until then, keep a close watch on your children. The vampire wannabes are out there.

Tim Kane

Lego Shop of Horrors

I am not a card-toting Lego nut. Honest. Not me. But events have conspired to induct me into Legodom in a big (and somewhat expensive) way. It’s called Lego Monster Fighters and it’s damn cool. Finally, after Star Wars, superheroes, and Lord of the Rings, Lego turned its attention to the most enduring pop culture there is: Horror.

Let me go back a bit. As a pre-teen I was a Lego nut. Admittedly. Back in the day (this would be the early 80s) there were no elaborate Lego kits. The one I recall was this moon lander kit. Mostly I just jimmied parts together to make interesting things

Why did I stop with the tiny plastic bricks. Basically life. I could mark the official end as the year I got my driver’s license. With freedom came girls and traveling. Legos didn’t fit in very well.

Fast forward twenty-five years and I now have a five-year-old daughter. True, she’s been playing with Duplos since she was one or two, but things really took off this year. First she created her own Lego Hulk. Then I bought her the Lego Avenger’s kit (which took me hours to assemble). Finally her birthday was only a short time later. When I saw that Lego had gone to the monsters, I had to bite. You see everyone in my family (daughter, wife, myself) are unabashed monster nuts. So here you go, the assembled Lego kits for three of the Monster Fighter sets.

Here’s the long view of “The Vampyre Castle”. Lego has come a long way since the moon lander series. This has a trap door, a secret room concealed with moveable stairs, and a Lego coffin.

Here’s a view of all the monsters. The werewolf comes from a different set (“The Werewolf”) where he launches out of a tree at one of the monster hunters. Check out the front of that car. The monster hunters have all the cool rides.

Finally we have “The Crazy Scientist and His Monster”. It has a “glow brick” that lights up with a Lego gear system (how very Steampunk). The figures for all the sets are astounding. I’m told that these sets aren’t available everywhere just yet. But they’re coming.

Tim Kane

Creating a Book Trailer (Sort of)

I am toiling away on a book trailer for a friend of min. Honest. But it’s slow going and, being the impatient chap that I am, I wanted results. Ergo, I created a mini-trailer for myself.

I wrote a non-fiction book (more on the scholarly side) about how the vampire evolved through film and television. It’s done fairly well. My publisher, McFarland, is terrific about advertising and keeping the word out. However, I love the subject so much, I threw together a video montage of some key scenes. Specifically how vampires reacted to crosses over the years.

The process was beyond simple, I can now see how people post YouTube videos all the time. Admittedly, having iMovie makes it much easier. I located clips on YouTube and used Zamzar (a free service) to convert them into mov format. My book is a review piece, therefore some use of film footage is allowable. I shot some quick footage of my vampire relics at home for the opening and ending sequences of the video.

Finally I needed music. I stumbled on the site for Kevin MacLeod, who creates creative commons and royalty-free music. It was free with the added caveat of citing him as the creator. I have no bones about spreading the word on a talented musician. Check him out. The music is great.

Uploading was easy. Too easy. I was so excited that I put the video up with typos (I think I have them all covered now). There doesn’t seem to be a way to “replace” a video on YouTube. So I uploaded a new one and deleted the old. I’m pleased with the results. I plan a series of these videos, each focusing on an aspect of vampire lore.

Expenses:

  • Filmed images (did with iPhone camera): Free
  • Movie clips from YouTube: Free
  • Video conversion with Zamzar: Free
  • Editing with iMovie: $14.99
  • Music from Kevin MacLeod: Free
  • Total Cost: $14.99 or Free (since I already had iMovie)

Try it yourself. It’s not rocket science.

Tim Kane

5 Romantic Films That Are Not Casablanca

I do love Casablanca. I’ve seen it multiple times and the film certainly holds up. What I hate is that this is the default movie for most people. When asked, “What’s the most romantic movie?”, most folks blurt out Casablanca. No hesitation, total commitment. I’m sure they think that is hast to be the most romantic film because so many other people also agree. (I searched the internet and every list I came across put this film at the top.)

Yes, Casablanca is great, but not that great. (I know I’ll get flack for this). First, most of the knee-jerk reactions come from people who probably haven’t even seen the film. Second, I don’t think it’s the best film of the period. Rope of Sand was producer Hal Wallis’s attempt to recapture the Casablanca magic. I think he did it better. Check it out.

So what I present here are five films that I found romantic. These aren’t the world’s best. They even might upset you, but they’re all films I’m drawn to. As a genre writer, I tend toward the same in films.

The Hunger (1983)

No, not the Hunger Games. This film has Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon, and David Bowie in a three way love affair. If you loved the film “Let the Right One In,” then you ought to see the film they stole the plot from: The Hunger. Catherine Deneuve is a centuries old vampire with her lover, David Bowie. Yet he suddenly begins to age, rapidly. While seeking a cure, Deneuve falls for Susan Sarandon. This has everything Anne Rice or Stephanie Meyers attempted to fill their pages with. One of the best vampire films on top of being incredibly sorrowful.

Ladyhawke (1985)

Rutger Hauer transforms to a wolf every night. His love, Michelle Pfeiffer, must live as a hawk each day. They were cursed by an evil bishop to ensure that they could never be together. There is even a heart wrenching scene where they see each other briefly in the morning twilight before Pfeiffer transforms into a hawk.

Add to that Matthew Broderick as a comical thief and you have a film that zig zags between laughs and romance. Since the two can never talk to each other, Broderick must relate their words of love. Check out these lines:

“For she is my life, my last and best reason for living. One day, we will know such happiness as two people dream of, but never do.”

Moulin Rouge (2001)

Baz Luhrmann delivers a heart-stopping romance that is woefully overlooked in most romantic movie lists. Ewan McGregor is a struggling writer who falls for courtesan Nicole Kidman. He must love her in secret because a rich patron also seeks her affections. Set this against extravagant Paris at the turn of the century and the most amazing music and you’ll be swept up into the magic.

Somewhere in Time (1980)

I was flabbergasted that this movie made none of the lists I found on the internet. This is the epitome of a love tragedy. Here we have a modern day (albeit 1980) Christopher Reeves visited by an old lady, Jane Seymour. She begs him to “Come back to me.” He researches and finds that she was a famous stage actress from the 1900s. Reeves travels back in time in what I find the most plausible method I’ve yet seen. He goes to a room in a hotel Seymour had visited. He wears period clothing and brings money from that time. He tunes out the modern world and simply wakes up in her time.

Of course, the two fall in love, though you might sense the problem here. If Seymour showed up as an aged lady in 1980, something must have gone wrong. Honestly, this will tear your heart out. Be warned.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

The concept of this film is off the map. A company advertises that they can completely erase someone from your memory, like say, and ex-lover. So we have Jim Carrey who discovers that his former girlfriend, Kate Winslet, had him erased. He undergoes the procedure, only to discover that he still desperately loves her. He tries everything he can to cling to his memories of her.

What’s great about this film is it feels real. It’s no fairy tale flick where everything is perfect at the end. These are real people who really have major relationship issues. Only in the end, that doesn’t matter.

Okay, here are the lines that get the tears out of me every time.

Carrey: I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you.
Winslet: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me.
Carrey: Okay.
Winslet: [pauses] Okay.

That’s it. My list of tear jerkers and romantic flicks. True, I’m a guy and into all aspects of horror and comics, but that doesn’t mean that these films don’t deserve merit. Check them out. You won’t be disappointed.

Tim Kane