Camp Hunger Games

Tired of that outrageous tab at Ralphs? I mean, $3.50 for a gallon of milk? Seriously. Time to cut your loses. Send your little bundle of joy to Camp Hunger Games. Let that grocery bill of yours fight for survival. Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. If your child vanquishes the other children, clawing and scraping her way to the top, then your family is heaped with glory and honor for years to come. (Not to mention the free grocery trips). And if not…? Them’s the breaks. At least you can set one less place at the table.

Tim Kane

5 Romantic Films That Are Not Casablanca

I do love Casablanca. I’ve seen it multiple times and the film certainly holds up. What I hate is that this is the default movie for most people. When asked, “What’s the most romantic movie?”, most folks blurt out Casablanca. No hesitation, total commitment. I’m sure they think that is hast to be the most romantic film because so many other people also agree. (I searched the internet and every list I came across put this film at the top.)

Yes, Casablanca is great, but not that great. (I know I’ll get flack for this). First, most of the knee-jerk reactions come from people who probably haven’t even seen the film. Second, I don’t think it’s the best film of the period. Rope of Sand was producer Hal Wallis’s attempt to recapture the Casablanca magic. I think he did it better. Check it out.

So what I present here are five films that I found romantic. These aren’t the world’s best. They even might upset you, but they’re all films I’m drawn to. As a genre writer, I tend toward the same in films.

The Hunger (1983)

No, not the Hunger Games. This film has Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon, and David Bowie in a three way love affair. If you loved the film “Let the Right One In,” then you ought to see the film they stole the plot from: The Hunger. Catherine Deneuve is a centuries old vampire with her lover, David Bowie. Yet he suddenly begins to age, rapidly. While seeking a cure, Deneuve falls for Susan Sarandon. This has everything Anne Rice or Stephanie Meyers attempted to fill their pages with. One of the best vampire films on top of being incredibly sorrowful.

Ladyhawke (1985)

Rutger Hauer transforms to a wolf every night. His love, Michelle Pfeiffer, must live as a hawk each day. They were cursed by an evil bishop to ensure that they could never be together. There is even a heart wrenching scene where they see each other briefly in the morning twilight before Pfeiffer transforms into a hawk.

Add to that Matthew Broderick as a comical thief and you have a film that zig zags between laughs and romance. Since the two can never talk to each other, Broderick must relate their words of love. Check out these lines:

“For she is my life, my last and best reason for living. One day, we will know such happiness as two people dream of, but never do.”

Moulin Rouge (2001)

Baz Luhrmann delivers a heart-stopping romance that is woefully overlooked in most romantic movie lists. Ewan McGregor is a struggling writer who falls for courtesan Nicole Kidman. He must love her in secret because a rich patron also seeks her affections. Set this against extravagant Paris at the turn of the century and the most amazing music and you’ll be swept up into the magic.

Somewhere in Time (1980)

I was flabbergasted that this movie made none of the lists I found on the internet. This is the epitome of a love tragedy. Here we have a modern day (albeit 1980) Christopher Reeves visited by an old lady, Jane Seymour. She begs him to “Come back to me.” He researches and finds that she was a famous stage actress from the 1900s. Reeves travels back in time in what I find the most plausible method I’ve yet seen. He goes to a room in a hotel Seymour had visited. He wears period clothing and brings money from that time. He tunes out the modern world and simply wakes up in her time.

Of course, the two fall in love, though you might sense the problem here. If Seymour showed up as an aged lady in 1980, something must have gone wrong. Honestly, this will tear your heart out. Be warned.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

The concept of this film is off the map. A company advertises that they can completely erase someone from your memory, like say, and ex-lover. So we have Jim Carrey who discovers that his former girlfriend, Kate Winslet, had him erased. He undergoes the procedure, only to discover that he still desperately loves her. He tries everything he can to cling to his memories of her.

What’s great about this film is it feels real. It’s no fairy tale flick where everything is perfect at the end. These are real people who really have major relationship issues. Only in the end, that doesn’t matter.

Okay, here are the lines that get the tears out of me every time.

Carrey: I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you.
Winslet: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me.
Carrey: Okay.
Winslet: [pauses] Okay.

That’s it. My list of tear jerkers and romantic flicks. True, I’m a guy and into all aspects of horror and comics, but that doesn’t mean that these films don’t deserve merit. Check them out. You won’t be disappointed.

Tim Kane