The Fall of Twinkies a Signal of Armageddon

A tear falls from my eye as I foresee a world with no Twinkies. Forget the Mayan calendar. This is it people. the end is neigh. I mean this was the food Woody Harrelson enjoyed in a zombie filled America. How can I enjoy the little things now?

Zombieland Movie Poster – Redesignby ~ppuntel

In case you haven’t heard, Hostess will close its doors and that means all its tasty snacks, Ding Dongs, Zingers, the whole lot, gone. I survived on this food in college. I mean if you look at the wrapper, a Twinkie doesn’t have that many calories. It was respectable.

What about the Twinkie defense? How will murders secure that not guilty plea with no snack food to blame. This event undermines everything that we call American.

I need to store up on Twinkies. Now.

Tim Kane

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