Away in a Manger: A Christmas Tale of Terror

There is a place, so dominated by nativity scenes, that the you often feel like the tiny figurines are watching you. I am tormented by this idea. Irrational fear or no, it haunts me.

My best friend’s house, the one I visited all throughout childhood, is just such a place. Every other month of the year, it’s a typical suburban home. But come December, the nativities creep out. Figurines, pillows, throw blankets, ornaments, you name it. One year we counted over 100 in just one room. So you can imagine what this did to my fertile imagination. Yes, that’s right, straight to horror.

I wondered what would happen if they came to life one night. Would these ceramic figurines be benevolent, or out for blood? What followed was a delve into Christmas terror. And I wasn’t alone in my horrific machinations. The folks at Grinning Skull Press also share a penchant for the creepy at Xmas. I’m happy to say that “Away in a Manger” appears in the 2019 edition of Deathleham. The proceeds of this publication go to charity, so please download or purchase a copy to support the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.

And my apologies to the wonderful family, so bedecked with nativities. You should know better than to feed my imagination.

Tim Kane

The Fall of Twinkies a Signal of Armageddon

A tear falls from my eye as I foresee a world with no Twinkies. Forget the Mayan calendar. This is it people. the end is neigh. I mean this was the food Woody Harrelson enjoyed in a zombie filled America. How can I enjoy the little things now?

Zombieland Movie Poster – Redesignby ~ppuntel

In case you haven’t heard, Hostess will close its doors and that means all its tasty snacks, Ding Dongs, Zingers, the whole lot, gone. I survived on this food in college. I mean if you look at the wrapper, a Twinkie doesn’t have that many calories. It was respectable.

What about the Twinkie defense? How will murders secure that not guilty plea with no snack food to blame. This event undermines everything that we call American.

I need to store up on Twinkies. Now.

Tim Kane