I spent the better part of my life a doormat. Always apologizing. Stepping into the shadows so others could reap the limelight. I can’t say I regret all of that. It did teach me some tact and politeness. Yet you can’t exist as an also-ran. At some point you need to stand up and be noticed.
Scene from Fight Club, where Edward Norton beats himself up to blackmail his boss.
Basically, I’m advocating a bit of selfishness. Do something that’s just you once in a while. One favorite of mine is to stop (usually at Starbucks) and grab a snack. I’m partial to anything with a crumble top (Mr. Blueberry muffin, I’m looking at you). Don’t think about the calories or where or when you need to be someplace. Just chill. Enjoy.
If you’re surrounded by dominating personalities, then separate yourself from them. Learn what you want. And the next time they suggest something you don’t like, don’t give in. Step up. Tell them what you want. Grab some control. Heck, very few people are going to give it to you.
Hey, I’m not going to go all self-help or motivational speaker on you. Basically make the choice. It sucks to stand up to people. Confrontation is uncomfortable. That’s why the jerks of the world get what they want. They don’t mind confrontation. In fact they thrive on it. For you and me, it takes practice. Like learning a new language. Start small and build up. Just saying what’s on your mind is great start.
Tim Kane
You are so right. If you don’t respect yourself (and make it known through your actions), no one else will. I hate having to “push back” just to be treated fairly, but it’s even more unpleasant not to. Some people end up “not liking me” any more. Tough. If they only liked me because they could push me around, I don’t need them. Here’s to standing up (for yourself) and being counted!
Exactly. Ditch the so called friends who won’t let you stand up for yourself.