Monthly Archives: May 2012

What Alignment Are You?

I was (and probably still am) a massive Dungeons and Dragons geek. The game was a turning point in my life. I recall trekking out to a summer school class as a twelve or thirteen-year-old and tripping out on the tiny lead figures and the various multicolored dice. I even adored the various statistics and tables (these satisfied the the inner math nerd in me). Mostly, role-playing sparked a love of imagination that would eventually lead to writing. After all, most of the game took place between my ears.

One aspect of the game that stuck with me were the alignments. Anyone who’s played knows what I’m talking about: Lawful Good, Chaotic Neutral. That sort of thing. These are pretty simplistic vectors of personality, but they could easily be applied to the characters in my stories. Moreover, giving my protagonist an alignment would actually make me aware of his motivations and action in the narrative.

I created my own (quite basic) alignment system for story characters. Instead of good and evil, I opted for selfless and selfish. I feel they account for many of the same behaviors. I thought about replacing lawful and chaotic with rational and emotional, but they didn’t have the same usefulness. After all, knowing a character is chaotic means he will take far different actions than an emotional character. (Note: I base my pronouns on the manuscript I’m working on at the time. Right now it has a male protagonist. The previous one was female. Feel free to change the he’s to her’s.)

Alignments

Lawful Alignments

These alignments prefer to follow the rules. You all know these types. If there’s a stop sign, they stop. On the other hand, you might consider this to mean rational or scientific. These types of folks would break a law if they considered the law to be irrational or nonsensical.

Chaotic Alignments

This is the domain of the anarchist. The “rock and roll all night and party every day” sort. They not only break rules, they yearn to live outside conformity. They dress different. They take risks. This could also apply to overtly emotional people. The ones that see a flash of light and jump to UFO rather than weather balloon.

Selfless Alignments

The bumper sticker reads: “Save the Whales” or “Visualize World Peace.” Bleeding hearts please line up here. The degree of selflessness may vary. Perhaps it’s just picking up some trash. Maybe it’s saving animals from abuse. All the way to obliterating nuclear weapons from the world. Bottom line, these people think more of others than themselves.

Selfish Alignments

The “me” generation. These folks think about numero uno: themselves. Whatever they can do to better their lot in life. They will steal or hurt others to get what they need. However, they often have a high level of confidence because who matters most? Why themselves, of course.

Alignment Breakdown

Lawful Selfless

The perfect union of law and order. This is your basic Superman or Captain America. This type of person works hard to maintain the greater good. He trusts authorities. After all, those people reached their jobs because they were so earned it, right? Othello might have started here before he fell.

Lawful Neutral

This person is on the split between selfish and selfless. He loves rules and logic. I picture him as a scientist who’s not so much interested in helping others or himself, but fascinated by the laws and puzzles he can solve.

Lawful Selfish

The corporate tycoon who finds the loopholes in the system. Is it really breaking the law if those loopholes are there? This might also be someone who is very calculating and organized in his plans. He gets what he wants because he’s patient and meticulous. He ultimately loves rules because he can subvert and control them.

Neutral Selfless

You want to stop that new toxic waste plant from being built, but that might mean breaking a few laws. You carefully weigh all the options, choosing what you think might be the best for everyone. You can break the rules if it justifies the end and helps people.

Pure Neutral

There are two options here: Buddhist or indecisive. Either you realize that there is no self or law and you must let things be, or you simply can’t make up your mind on anything.

Neutral Selfish

This is pure selfishness. This guy only thinks about himself. He don’t want to get caught, so he heeds the law when needed, but circumvents rules if they stand in his way. It’s all about what others can do for him.

Chaotic Selfless

This is your basic vigilante. This guy wants to help, but prefers to work outside the law. Batman and Spider-man fall into this category. Both want to help people, but they realize that following the rules will only let the bad guys escape.

Chaotic Neutral

Pure chaos. An anarchist. He wants to abolish all laws and rules and just have some fun. This fella would not be a team player. In fact he probably doesn’t think much about anyone and lives totally in the present moment.

Chaotic Selfish

Your basic criminal. This guy wants it all and he wants it now. He prefers to break the rules. It’s a rush to flout the law and get away with it.

Do any of these alignments describe you? How about any characters in books you’ve read? Consider this the next time you read or write a book.

Tim Kane

Warning: Exposure to Cthulhu Causes OCD

Monster Monday: I’m going to attempt to post about monsters (my favorite topic) each Monday. Today we’re talking the mac daddy of all monsters, Cthulhu. Not familiar? It’s hard to sum up in a few lines. He’s a mythical god, older than the pantheons of Greece or the Vikings, that lives in another dimension. He’s part of the Old Ones that ruled Earth aeons ago. They sleep now, but continually seek a way into our world again. To rule and to feed.

The brainchild of author H. P. Lovecraft, Cthulhu and other creepy netherworld critters attempted to scare the life out of various folk in his stories. A recurring theme in his work is that of madness. Imagine actually seeing a god. Coming face to face with one. Not Zeus with his fluffy white beard and lightning bolt. I mean a literal force of nature. Awe inspiring doesn’t cut it. Lovecraft felt that the human mind couldn’t handle such an experience. The typical result was madness.

As a fan of Stephen King, I’ve read two of the stories he’s written that touch on Lovecraftian ideas. One is Crouch End from Nightmares & Dreamscapes. It’s a tremendously creepy tale about a couple of Yanks getting lost on the deserted streets of London. Only one makes it back, though she has lost her sanity.

A more recent story I’ve read is N from Just After Sunset. N refers to the name of an accountant who visits a shrink. The poor fellow developed a crippling case of obsessive compulsive disorder after witnessing a thin spot in the world. Stephen King has written about this sort of thing before. Other worlds border our own and sometimes the fabric that separates the two wears thing. The character N found such a place and was infected by OCD.

Insanity has always been associated with Lovecraft, but this was the first time I’ve read about the madness manifesting as a compulsive disorder. N must count things, and the numbers must always be even. Six is a fix. Eight makes it straight. He also arranges objects in diagonals and circles. He says it’s to save the world. And in this story, he isn’t being metaphorical. Can you imagine, compelled to count and arrange to keep monstrous slimy things out of our world? This story is well worth a read. It has a surprise ending that I won’t spoil, but it’s good enough that I sought it out again to read.

I had forgotten the name and had to listen to nearly all my King audio books until finding it. That’s an obsession. Uh oh. Perhaps I’ve caught N’s compulsion. I better start counting.

(There are 458 words in this post. That’s even. A good number.)

Tim Kane

The Year of the Archer

In March we saw Katniss Everdeen skewer a pig in front of the game makers. Her archery abilities weren’t just a throwaway  skill. The bow and arrow were the focal point of the novel. She hunted for game to support her family. Her high score in the Hunger Games made her a target. Likewise, she destroyed the careers’ food with a well placed shot.

Then there’s The Avengers. Joss Whedon skillfully built up Hawkeye’s character from nearly nothing to a character on par with the other heavies of the film. His trick? Make the archer the bad guy for most of the film. Then his skills are forefront for much of the screen time.

A month later we’ll have Pixar’s Brave, featuring a young maiden quite skilled with the bow. I can’t discern the plot yet, but her archery  abilities seem to dominate the trailers.

Then, in December, we have the original super archer: Legolas. Okay, not the actual arrow-slinging elf, but The Hobbit will feature Legolas’s dad. Rumors abound the Orlando Bloom will cameo as Legolas. Perhaps firing a few arrows.

I think archery ranges will be full this year. Prepare for plenty of bows and arrows come Halloween. Nock ’em back if you got ’em.

Tim Kane

Curse of the Slow Reader

I read slower than molasses oozes. Some of it comes from my hang up on grammar. I recall that when I first started to write, I’d make every sentence grammatically correct. No fragments. The same with reading. If there was something askew with the text, I kept reading it. Obsessed in a way. Seeking to fix the problem in my mind.

I took a speed reading class when I was younger. Interesting technique, but I’d never want to use it. It’s like eating ice cream in pill form. It sucks all the magic out of reading. Sure it works, but do you really need to read that fast?

I have gotten better (both with the grammar and the reading). Mostly it came with practice. I realized I couldn’t be an adequate writer if I didn’t read a whole heck of a lot. I started with audio books. (At the time I had a 20 minute commute). Then, as my mind adjusted to the rhythm of reading again, I tried out the paper and ink versions again.

A lot had to do with my students as well. I wanted to introduce some middle grade and young adult books to them, but I felt I should read them first to make sure they were kosher. This led to my first reading obsession: Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. I inhaled that book.

My slow reading had another curse. When I joined my online critique group, I was given three sets of 50 page manuscripts and two weeks to read them. Anxious didn’t even describe me. I took those suckers to work and read them in my spare time. I just barely made the deadline. Now I’m a bit faster. I have to be. Life is hectic and if I’m going to read at all, I have to dive in. No holding back.

So if you lament you tortoise like reading habits, worry not. You’re in good company. Keep reading though. You’ll get better and you just may enjoy the ride.

Tim Kane

Creating a Book Trailer (Sort of)

I am toiling away on a book trailer for a friend of min. Honest. But it’s slow going and, being the impatient chap that I am, I wanted results. Ergo, I created a mini-trailer for myself.

I wrote a non-fiction book (more on the scholarly side) about how the vampire evolved through film and television. It’s done fairly well. My publisher, McFarland, is terrific about advertising and keeping the word out. However, I love the subject so much, I threw together a video montage of some key scenes. Specifically how vampires reacted to crosses over the years.

The process was beyond simple, I can now see how people post YouTube videos all the time. Admittedly, having iMovie makes it much easier. I located clips on YouTube and used Zamzar (a free service) to convert them into mov format. My book is a review piece, therefore some use of film footage is allowable. I shot some quick footage of my vampire relics at home for the opening and ending sequences of the video.

Finally I needed music. I stumbled on the site for Kevin MacLeod, who creates creative commons and royalty-free music. It was free with the added caveat of citing him as the creator. I have no bones about spreading the word on a talented musician. Check him out. The music is great.

Uploading was easy. Too easy. I was so excited that I put the video up with typos (I think I have them all covered now). There doesn’t seem to be a way to “replace” a video on YouTube. So I uploaded a new one and deleted the old. I’m pleased with the results. I plan a series of these videos, each focusing on an aspect of vampire lore.

Expenses:

  • Filmed images (did with iPhone camera): Free
  • Movie clips from YouTube: Free
  • Video conversion with Zamzar: Free
  • Editing with iMovie: $14.99
  • Music from Kevin MacLeod: Free
  • Total Cost: $14.99 or Free (since I already had iMovie)

Try it yourself. It’s not rocket science.

Tim Kane