How Bloody Mary Inspired Two Gruesome Nursery Rhymes

Arkane Curiosities

Many early fairy tales and children’s songs have been sanitized over the years, their darker origins being submerged under the seeming nonsense of the verses. Yet if we dig deep enough, we can uncover the disturbing origin of nursery rhymes. Two gruesome nursery rhymes link directly back to Mary I of England.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

The homicidal Queen Mary I (1553 to 1558), a fanatical Catholic, executed hundreds of Protestants during her reign. Although the nursery rhyme did not appear till 200 years later (1744), Mary remained an unpopular monarch. 

The most common lyrics today are:

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row

Mary I was quite contrary, going against the grain of English Protestism. Yet how does she “grow” her kingdom? With the sprouting of gravestones from the 284 Protestants she burned at the stake. In this interpretation, the silver bells and cockle shells can refer to torture devices. 

The pretty maids in a row can refer to her attempts to create an heir. She knew she needed someone to rule after her, otherwise her sister, Elizabeth, would take control and revert the country back to Protestant beliefs. Mary was already 38 when married to Philip. She suffered from “phantom pregnancies” where she retained her menstrual fluid, causing her belly to swell. In the end, she suffered two such false pregnancies. 

Three Blind Mice

This rhyme dates much closer to Mary I, being published in 1609 by one Thomas Ravenscroft. The modern lyrics go like this:

Three blind mice. Three blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run.
They all ran after the farmer’s wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

During Mary’s reign, three Protestant loyalists plotted against the queen. Hugh Latimer, Nicholas Radley, and The Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer all conspired to overthrow the queen. They were never blinded, but perhaps they were “blind” to the truth of God. Instead of cutting off their tails, Mary had the “Oxford Martyrs” burned at the stake. 

The farmer’s wife in this tale refers to Mary and her husband, King Philip of Spain, who owned massive estates. 

So the next time you hum one of these little ditties, think about the pain and suffering that inspired them.

Tim Kane

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Home Decor for Your Hell House: Six Evil Home Additions

Imagine you’re an interior designer or contractor and you get contacted by a fellow who wants an iron maiden installed in his basement. Perhaps accessed through a secret door with a few traps. It makes you wonder, where do some of the horror movie villains get their homes made? Here are the top six bizarre home building projects that would drive any contractor nutty.

#6 Secret Passage from Young Frankenstein

Put the candle back.

I have a secret, I’ve always wanted to build a secret passage. It would be so cool to be able to access your den or writing room via a chamber that no one else can see. Yes. It’s everyone’s dream, right? Of course, you’ve have to access it with a candle, just like in Young Frankenstein. I only hope I never get stuck like Gene Wilder.

#5 A Swinging Pendulum from The Pit and the Pendulum

Imagine a clock pendulum swinging, only now, it’s set to slice you in half. I don’t even know where you’d have room to put this in any house, much less make it work. Only Edgar Allen Poe could dream this up and only Roger Corman could execute it.

#4 A Smoky Pit to the Netherworld from Lair of the White Worm

An unwilling victim

As kids, we all tried to dig a hole to China, but in horror flicks, holes in the earth tend to lead other places. In Lair of the White Worm, a nasty slimy serpent slithers up to chomp on young maidens. With that in mind, think how long it would take to drill this out?

#3 A Personal Torture Chamber from Princess Bride

Not only is this my favorite movie, it also has it’s own torture equipment. Who knew? The machine is there to instill pain on its victims with suction. So basically its one giant Hoover. As an added bonus, it’s made entirely out of wood. That would take a fleet of carpenters to build.

#2 Your Own Mechanical Band from The Abominable Dr. Phibes

Sure, all your songs fit onto an iPod, but nothing replaces having live performers. Barring that, you could go the robotic/mechanical route. Nothing says creepy as faceless horn players. I’d like to see Apple market that.

#1 A Vat of Acid in the Floor from House on Haunted Hill

I put this as number one simply because…why? Why would you ever need a vat of acid in the floor other than to dissolve someone. I know there was some sort of explanation for it in the film, but let’s face it, death by acid is just awesome.

Tim Kane